ENDO Messages for July, 2005: I swear this pain will never end

I swear this pain will never end

From: Nancy (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Thu Jul 28 18:43:24 2005

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I swear this pain will never end and this past week now I have been experiencing very lightheadedness and dizzy spells. As I write this I am real lightheaded and the pain in my abdomen is killing me. I am getting closer to insurance becoming active. The suspense and sypmotoms are killing me. I am so confused on what to tell the doctor when I finally go see one. I know that I need to get a pap test done because I have not been back in over a year and I was diagnosed with precancerous cervical cells. I was supposed to get bi~monthly paps done. Now I am getting so many more symptoms and even hotflashes. I have a killer migrane and nothing but Adivl which is not helping right now. The symptom list is growing and so is my anxiety. I feel real sick and wanna throw up right now. These sharp pains in my abdomen are going up my sides and I feel so isolated. I am depressed and have withdrawn to my bedroom every day. I really do have a wonderful marriage and do not understand why aI am so depressed right now. My head is killing me, I cannot stay off the toilet. I am urinating every 20 minutes. I wish this would all end and I pray that my NEW DOCTOR will agree to do a LAP because I know I have Endometriosis. and the more I research, the more scared I get. Between the pain and this new lump next to my right breast, and the precancerous cervical cells, am so confused!!!!! SO depressed right now. I am bawling my eyes out!!!! I can't stop! Why did I let it go this long? Just because my last doctor (last year) kept ignoring my pain and cared more about cervix, now what have I done to myself over this past year of no medical attention at all? Damn I am stupid! I just wanna scream, bloody scream out loud.... any suggestions on how I can calm my nerves. They are going in circles right now. I have worried myself right to being bloody sick to my stomach.

--
Nancy

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