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Just want to set the record straight

From: Tammisha (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Mon Jun 27 09:39:33 2005


It has been brought to my attention that I have started some controversy in this forum. I found out about through an email Erica sent to me. Thank you Erica for bringing this to my attention. I hadn’t had time to check the forum to see any replies that I may have gotten, simply because (and “anonymous” please pay close attention to this) I was feeling great and wanted to get out and enjoy life! Now please let me set the record straight on some things.

First off it was never my intention to start controversy in this forum. Absolutely NO ONE benefits from that. So I hope this hostility towards one another can stop. But I have to say I don’t believe I’m truly to blame for the start of the controversy. I believe “anonymous’” harsh words are.

Secondly, “anonymous” YOU jumped the gun and are WRONG! I am not looking for a support group to sit around with reminding myself or their selves of all the misery and pain of endo. That is not what I was looking for at all. For the harsh reality of endo I have had my parents’ support since the day I was diagnosed and I would NOT trade it for anything. If you would have read my posting (maybe with an open minded instead of with the closed minded idea that everyone is posting to this site is writing to complain that they are all alone in their suffering because there’s no support group in their town) you would have seen the part were I stated that I am doing well. I simply wanted to see if I could talk to someone about dealing with life after endo. I have struggled to get it under control for 12 years and that was my focus, now I need to pick up and start living my life. Yes, I do get depressed and Yes it is a fact of life for me, but I know there are positive ways to deal with it and that is what I am seeking. I was just seeking advice on how others did it. I didn’t want to wallow in self-pity. I even asked if there was a book out there on how deal with the after effects of endo. Tell me something how can you wallow in self-pity reading a book on something positive? I am searching for the positive if I wasn’t I would not have reached out and asked for help. I will say this and I’m sure it will make you mad, but slamming some one the way you did me will only cause that person to go back into the depression they are trying to get out of.

Thirdly, the part about getting out and doing things with others, while it is good advice, if you would have gotten to know me maybe through polite responses in the forum or through emails, instead of slamming me, you would have learned that I do get out when ever possible. If I am feeling well, I am NOT at home. (Once again, that is the reason it has taken me so long to discover this chaos that is going on in the forum, I felt good and got out of the house.) I do go to the movies, bowling, etc., that is again not the reason why I wrote in. I don’t believe any of the women who write in don’t take advantage of getting out when they feel well.

Fourthly, I have to agree with what Shannon wrote. I do believe you are miserable. If you don’t like reading what people are posting in this forum, or you think people are just posting “self pity” responses, why do even get on the site? Unless you are just so miserable in you own life and you can’t stand the fact that someone posting to this site may actually get help you can’t seem to get, so you want to make everyone else as miserable as you are. If it was not your intention of slamming then why did you come off so harsh. A simple “hey have you tried this,” would have been more effect and a lot politer. You want people to be positive in the forum but you slam people with hostility because you don’t want to take the time to find out where they are coming from. Have you ever tried being considerate of other people’s feelings; then maybe people wouldn’t accuse you of being miserable.

As for your comment to Shannon about the “I may not include spiritual, religious signature lines in my messages but I would never stoop so low as to say something like that to anyone, not even you!” YOU DID. In fact in my opinion, you stooped LOWER!, when you slammed me the way that you did. When I was seeking help, you sent a response to try and tear me down lower. While I may not agree with how Shannon wrote her reply, I do understand where she is coming from. (Open-minded) I have been there myself, she is simply tired of people putting others down because they are not feeling well. You sought out to purposely hurt someone you didn’t know just because you were CLOSED MINDED to what that person was asking.

After reading your posting my first intention was to never post to this site or visit it again. I felt attacked and belittled. But for your one rude and inconsiderate posting, I receive two caring and help emails and not a one of them was wallowing in self-pity, JUST GREAT SUPPORT. Shannon’s response got me to thinking too. She was right, many others who responded had no problem leaving their name, but you (the one sent this whole forum into a NEGATIVE spin of chaos) signed it “anonymous”. It just makes you think, that’s all! So you will not run me off. But I have some advice to you. I know of some great communications courses if you are interested in improving your harsh inconsiderate ways. Hey look at it this way, it could be a new hobby for you to do when you are not in pain and are feeling well. You know you really should focus on other things besides your misery and who knows maybe others will stop saying how miserable YOU are!

Thank you to those who did support me and have wonderful and kind words and thoughts to send my way. Thanks so much for that.

--
Tammisha Farmer



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