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First post...From: just_niki (anonymous@obgyn.net)Tue Apr 26 19:52:09 2005
I had my first laparoscopy today. My doctor went in because I have been having severe abdominal pain over the past few months, irregular periods, and have been swinging back and forth between severe constipation and chronic diarhea. I have had two sonograms, that have shown what seemed to be nothing more than a small cyst. I was told that it was very unlikely that this cyst was an unlikely cause of the pain I have been experiencing. I have had periodic bouts with pain since I became pregnant with my son, 5 years ago. I was always told it was "just a cyst". I gave up going to the doctors for help after hearing that one too many times, and being offered nothing to cope with the pain. Finally, it got to be too much. Well, to make a long story short, when they went in today, all that they found, was a small fibroid, that is not attatched to anything. The doctor told my Husband and my Mother, who were both present at the time of my procedure, that she suspects taht I may have a form of endometriosis taht is actually located on the inside of my uterus. The options that she explained to them, from what they have told me, are these... 1) she can put me on birth control (it seemed to control the pain in the past, but I gained weight,and being that I am recovered from an eating disorder, I was not keen on that idea) 2) She can put me on a form of hormone therapy that throws me into a false menopause (the drawback here being that I suffer from depression, and as she put it, it throws some depressed women over "the edge"... not good being that I have a son that needs me and a full time job that I cannot afford to lose) 3) I can have the uterus removed and studied or 4) I can get the films form the procedure, and my medical records and get a second opinion. I am disturbed by the options, as none of them seem very promising, save the last... we have a very good Womens Hospital near here, and I wonder if they may have a better understanding of what is going on. I am under the assumption, from all taht I have read and heard on endo, that the doctor is on the right track with this. I know that I am very blessed to have been able to concieve and carry to term with my son. I haven't been able to do so since. I have had a few positive home pregnancy tests since his birth,and a miscarriage before I got pregnant with him. I always end up losing within the first trimester. I have always let this go, reminding myself as always that I am lucky to have the child that I do, and that my husband doesn't really want anymore children anyhow. But as I am getting older, the pain has gotten worse, and my feelings about having more children has changed. I have actually begun to resent myself and my Husband for all of this. Him for insisting we not have any more kids, and myself for going along with it, although I wanted to a lot sooner. I am thinking that I have just lost out on the whole dream of having a brother or sister for my son. He has a half-sister, and the fact that my Husband has more than one child, but he denied me what could have possibly been the last chance at having another child, years ago, slays me. This hurts so bad. I guess that I won't know anything for certain unless my uterus is actually taken out, and I really don't want to do that. I wish that there was another way to diagnose one way or the other. I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. I am wondering...should I get this tore out,and studied, or leave it in and hope that it isn't true? I am guessing that if that really is what is going on, then I am probably infertile by now anyhow, especially judging by my track record. My aunt had endo, and ended up having a hysterectomy because of the pain. My mother had severe pain for years, and had a hysterectomy a few years back.The doctor never did tell her what the problem was, but it was in her uterus, and as she was closing in on menopause by the tine she got this taken care of, she didn't care to know, unless it was malignant. A biopsy showed that it wasn't. We have since deduced that was what she had. My cousin has endo, and she has been controlling it with birth control since fifteen. My grandmother had symptoms that sound a lot like endometriosis. An aunt on my fathers side of the family has it. I am going crazy. I just want the pain to stop. I was wondering if anyone else out there was told that they have endometriosis inside their uterus, how common or rare this is, and what they chose to do about it. I am at a loss. I am a hair away from losing my job, because I have lost so much work. I have been on pain pills for over a month, because I couldn't hack it anymore, and I am so cranky because of all of this that it is straining my marriage, and my relationship with my son and stepdaughter. Everyone avoids me on the weekends, including my parents, and extended family, because I am just so miserable. I'm sorry this is so long but I just really have been holding a lot of this inside for way too long. I feel like I am going to burst. I hope you guys don't mind me lurking for answers.
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