ENDO Messages for April, 2005: Re: Getting surgeries..

Re: Getting surgeries..

From: anonymous (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Tue Apr 19 11:00:15 2005

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Reply: Shannon: "Re: Getting surgeries.."

Hi Shannon,

I haven't been in your shoes but I've been in a pair a lot like them so here is some tips, info and advice from the BTDT section...

First things first, you have to take care of you, you cannot expect or rely on anyone, including your husband, to do it for you because it is obvious he is not as committed to you as you are.

Focus on the upcoming surgery with Dr. Cook. Don't expect to come out of this feeling like a whole new woman ready to tackle the world but do expect to come out in better shape than you are now but it'll take about 6 months to get there. It takes about 3 weeks to get all of the effects of the anesthesia out of your system and you will have a lot of internal bruising that will take time to heal but if you take it easy, don't try to do too much too fast and eat with maximum nutrition and get lots of sleep and work your way up to regular daily exercise you will recover well and fully and quite possibly enjoy the next several years with little or no symptoms from your endo.

If there is an upside to cervical cancer it is this, once removed it is gone. The chances of it returning are quite slim and there is a pretty high cure rate. No chemo or radiation therapy is necessary in most cases because the cells are well contained in a singular location. Sometimes this is not the case but again, Dr. Cook will be able to determine this at the time of surgery and he will remove whatever is required to give you clean and free margins (cancer free tissue). You may not be able to carry a pregnancy to term after this but then again, if you don't have it removed you certainly wouldn't then either and you have to ask yourself, is the man you're married to the man you want to spend your life with?

The only reason I say that is because of your past posts and the comments you've made about him. It just sounds like you barely even like the guy much less love him, I don't see much mutual respect going on between you and nearly zero support for each other. You both have a lot of stress going on right now, he with his and you with yours and added to that is this ongoing battle between the two of you over who's thing is more important. It's not productive and certainly will not help either of you.

So, my advice to you as far as your relationship goes is this, be honest with your husband. Tell him you are not feeling very supported, loved or understood by him and that you are finding it difficult to feel supportive, loving and understanding towards him. That you are going through some difficult and painful health issues requiring surgery that will have you pretty well incapacitated for a few weeks afterwards and you need to know that you can count on him to help you through it. That you understand the Navy has dibs on him and he swore and oath to the Navy but he also swore and oath to you and that you need him to find a way to honor both obligations.

And then I want you to promise yourself that you are beyond being upset by him. Concentrate on making preparations for yourself, cook extra servings of your meals and freeze them so that you won't have to be standing in the kitchen cooking just thaw, heat and eat. Contact friends, relatives or a maid service and see about having someone come once a week to help you with laundry and cleaning - at that rate you'll need someone to come about 3 or 4 times, depending on how big your place is and how much laundry. I remember in other posts you said you have a big dog. If you think it safe, hire a neighborhood kid or young adult to walk the dog for you. You can always go along for the walk, or part of the walk but someone else should handle the dog so you don't tear anything loose.

After you are sufficiently healed from surgery you can then take a good hard look at your relationship with your husband and decide what you want to do and then do it. You're getting a fresh start so take advantage of it.

best of luck to you...

At Mon, 18 Apr 2005, Shannon wrote: >
>I spoke to Dr. Cook today. He looked at the lap. pics I sent to him
>along with my medical history. He says I DO have endo. on my left
>ovary, large bowel, and cervix. He is going to do the leep procedure to
>remove my cancerous cells off of my cervix at the same time so I don't
>have to be awake. He said that I may have to get a rectocele surgically
>fixed(the muscle between the vagina and the rectum). Also I may have to
>get a bowel resection to remove the bad part of my large intestines.
>Though this will be a very long road, I truly believe that I will feel
>better after I heal. I find out later today when they will have
>scheduled me. The doctor is going to get tests run on me as far as the
>intestines/rectocele, before he removes anything. That is good! Lol.
>There are 2 more tests that the 3 gastro. doctors never ran on me. Dr.
>Cook really knows his stuff.
>My husband is mad b/c this is going to cost a lot of money and he
>doesn't think he can take the leave from the Navy. He wants me to wait
>until June. I can't do that with the cancerous cells on my cervix. Why
>does he always have to bring me down when it comes to me being fixed
>physically?

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In reply to: Shannon: "Getting surgeries.."
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