Re: I am JUST MAD!!!!!! long
From: Anna (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Mon Mar 14 21:21:01 2005
Julie and Tricia,
Thanks so much for posting about how you are feeling. I feel so
frustrated tonight and I just needed to find someone who understands. My
husband seems to think he understands but most of the time he just
doesn't GET it. Thank you for being out there and "getting it".
My husband always thinks of these -pardon my rudeness- stupid reasons
that I must be feeling what I'm feeling. e.g. I have bladder problems,
either IC or endo or both, meaning I have to go about every 20 minutes
to half hour. And here he is saying, "Well, you just drink too much
water and your body now requires more water than it should because you
have given it too much water over the years, and now you just have to
live with the consequences." It's really frustrating because he'll say
something like that, which makes me angry and hurt and makes me feel so
alone, and then weeks later he will claim never to have said it. He
says I make up memories. It's so screwed up sometimes, I don't know
what to do. We have this great relationship in so many other ways.
Today was another example of what I can't help but call his "stupid
reasons" for my health problems. I have IBS and/or endo on the bowel
(unknown at this point) and he says the reason I've had to go eight
times a day lately is because I've been eating so many cookies. "If you
put a lot in, a lot has to come out." I haven't even been eating that
much! I've lost 20 pounds in the last two years without trying! Even if
I was eating lots of cookies - I feel like I'm talking to a freaking
nine year old sometimes. (He would be so hurt if I said that, but
honestly!!!) Where does he get his concepts of human anatomy and
physiology??!!
Thanks for the place to vent. At least you know it's not my fault I
have to go through these things. It's not because of too much water
drinking or cookie eating that endo makes my abdomen feel awful and the
bathroom my most frequently visited place!
Thank you for understanding!!!!!!!! I'm not one to use a lot of
exclamation marks but I'm feeling really frustrated today.
-Anna
At Fri, 11 Mar 2005, Julie wrote:
>
>Tricia - Just want to say how sorry I am for you and although there is
>no easy way around this, you just have to hang in there day by day. As
>you said - you will make it! I go through periods of being very
>depressed, then being angry that all this is happening to me and then
>days when I am positive and hopeful that things will get better one day.
>It is really hard for hubbys and friends/family to understand what
>you're going through. It's like if you look physically normal, then
>you're not really sick. Most of my family and friends don't realise how
>serious endo really is and think that once I'm on hormone meds, then I'm
>alright and everything is fixed. It is so frustrating, they don't want
>to talk about it, think all is going along ok but it takes over your
>life. I have started to get my hubby to look at info on this board and
>other endo sites and now he is finally realising what I've known for the
>last year. He knows its serious stuff with no easy answer. He told me
>that he has had knots in his stomach the last week. Good as that's how
>I have felt for the last year. I think that it's really positive your
>hubby is going to the doc with you, even though he acts like you're not
>sick. I have started taking my husband too as I can hardly talk to
>doctors anymore without bursting into tears. Stay strong for your 2
>kids - I have 2 little ones as well and it's very difficult dealing with
>this and looking after children who are too young to understand that
>you're not feeling well. I wish you well and hope that someone is able
>to help you and bring an end to your pain. Although we are all in
>similar boats, it's nice to know that there are others out there that
>really know what we're going through and can understand our pain and
>frustration.
>
>At Fri, 11 Mar 2005, Tricia wrote:
>>
>>I have to see a new doctor on Mon. and my hubby is going with me b/c I
>>don't even what to talk to people any more I am just so mad at this. I
>>am sick of being sick. There is not much I can do any more the more I
>>try to do things the sicker I get. I get to have 1 1/2 pain pills a day
>>and as you all know it dose not help. My hubby comes home and try's to
>>acted like I am not sick it has gone on like this for the past 3 days
>>and I have tried just not talking to him about my pain or any thing that
>>has to do with me and my way I have to live. I don't know how much more
>>if this life I can take. Don't take it all the wrong way I have to kids
>>and I love my hubby and AM NOT GOING TO KILL MY SELF but I wish I could
>>some times just to fix all of my family's problems. My hubby makes
>>really good $ and b/c if me we have non and we are going to have to file
>>for bankruptcy as soon as or tax return gets here. My hubby is starting
>>to drink when he gets home and my kids just are sick of me I just know
>>it. I just WISH WISH WISH WISH this would just go away I keep telling
>>me self to be strong for my kids and my hubby but when It comes down to
>>it who will be strong for me. I have know one to talk to but all of you
>>lady's and I wish I could pull all of you out of here and in to my home
>>so my family can see it not just me who has this that there are others
>>like me and I need help.My hubby has to go to war with kaiser to find me
>>help. I need to see Dr.Cook and have know hope if it happing now. Why
>>dose help have to cost so much? Why can't there be some one who is in to
>>helping other's just for the filling it brings in side knowing you have
>>made some one's life worth living. I hope for some help soon. I have
>>never what any thing so badly in life before then just to be pain free
>>and be able to get out and do every day thing's. I know other have it
>>worse then me but I know most of them have doctor who can help them. I
>>am just filling so alone. I know you all see some things like me and
>>just wish we all can find relief from it. Sorry for being so long but I
>>do fill better now to get it all out and out of my head. I know some
>>one will read this and that is just good for me to know that there is
>>some one hearing me even if is not the one I need it to be it will bring
>>me hope to know that some day when my hubby is ready he will be there. I
>>know other have lost there hubby's from this and I hope I will not be
>>one of them. I also would not blame him if he did go I wish I could do
>>the same. But I have NO POWER over any part if my life it is all in the
>>hands if other's around me.
>>
>>--
>>Tricia Morgan
>>I will make it.
>>
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