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Re: very worried - please write
From: ann (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Mon Jan 10 19:55:12 2005
Thanks for the advice.
At Mon, 10 Jan 2005, holly wrote:
>
>i also want to add that this disease is difficult on our men. they
>can't stand to see us in pain, and they don't understand the pain. but
>try to give him the benefit of the doubt. and come here when you need
>to let it all out. i've learned that venting to unknown people has been
>healthier for my marriage than venting to my dh. only when it gets too
>bad to stand do i tell him about it. he knows i have pain most of the
>time, but i don't tell him about it as much as i used to. but he knows
>what helps me feel better, and he knows what to do when i need him. it's
>a lot of give and take. it doesn't happen overnight, but your man will
>eventually understand what you need and when you need it. i really hope
>the natural stuff works for you.
>
>(((hugs)))
>~holly
>33
>mild endo/IC
>
>At Mon, 10 Jan 2005, holly wrote:
>>
>>honey, life doesn't end because you can't have children. we tried
>>unsuccessfully for 8 years and finally realized maybe it's not in the
>>cards for us. we eventually moved on to a childless life, and we're
>>doing just fine. some days, i'm sad, others i feel liberated. i'm not
>>saying it was easy to get to this point of acceptance, but sometimes you
>>just have to. my husband loves me even though i can't bear children for
>>him.
>>
>>so trust your instincts. if he loves you, he won't leave you. don't
>>let this eat at you. enjoy your time with him. it's not everyone who
>>gets to spend the rest of her life with her man always in the honeymoon
>>state. at least that's what i tell myself when i start to feel down.
>>it's not lonely. how could it be when you're with the man you love?
>>
>>face this with a positive attitude. if it doesn't work out, discuss how
>>you both feel about adoption. and if you don't feel adoption is for
>>you, then try your best to embrace the life you've been given. it's
>>really hard at first to let go of the dream, but then you begin to
>>realize you have other dreams.
>>
>>(((((((hugs)))))))
>>i hope you are pleasantly surprised by what your body can do. :)
>>
>>~holly
>>33
>>mild endo/IC
>>
>>At Mon, 10 Jan 2005, v wrote:
>>>
>>>If your boyfriend leaves you over this issue, HE is a jackass!!! Better
>>>to have a one on one with each other and figure out how stable your
>>>relationship is. First off women are not "baby machines" You say you
>>>can't have a child which is not true. You may be physically unable to
>>>bear a child. But the world is overrun with unwanted children and
>>>adoption is needed now more then ever. You are still a woman even if
>>>you can not conceive. in my opinion it takes a incredible woman to take
>>>on the risk and adventrue of adoption. before I was diagnosed with endo
>>>I never really thought about childbearing but now I do and whatever is
>>>in the fates will work out. I just got out of a serious relationship
>>>and it sucks to be alone but better to be alone healthy and happy then
>>>part of a yucky relationship. You will be okay!!!
>>>Good LUCK!!
>>>
>>>At Mon, 10 Jan 2005, ann wrote:
>>>>
>>>>Hi, I only come here once in a while but I am very worried. Actually I
>>>>am worried to death. I have endo stage 3 and I am currently taking
>>>>homeopathy medicine which it is supposed to make me get better in a
>>>>period of about two years. I am going to be 33 in April and my
>>>>boyfriend kind of wants to get married in about 2-3 years even though he
>>>>knows my situation. Doctors usually tell me the sooner the better. I
>>>>guess my boyfriend wants to save money and all this but what would my
>>>>chances be at 36? Do any of you waited this long to have a baby? I spent
>>>>my entire day crying because I feel lost. I am also afraid because he
>>>>really thinks I will be fine and things will work out but if they don't
>>>>he can live me and I am doomed. At times I don't understand why some
>>>>have the right to have babies and others not. I guess it is the same
>>>>way to why some people die early and others don't. I think life can be
>>>>so unfair. I am also hoping my doctor will do another lap this year to
>>>>find out how bad it got in the past two years. Usually my endo spreads
>>>>two quickly. One year I had 3 laps. The homeopathy is helping and I
>>>>have no pain and feel better but I am not sure what is happening inside.
>>>>It is very hard for me living like this and at times I worry to death
>>>>that my boyfriend will leave me. I actually know women that their
>>>>husbands left them because of this. At times I prefer dying than being
>>>>like this or being lonely for the rest of my life. Sorry for
>>>>complaining I know all of you have problems but I am kind of desperate
>>>>and can't stop crying.
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