ENDO Messages for January, 2005: Re: very worried

Re: very worried - please write

From: anonymous (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Mon Jan 10 13:34:16 2005

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People do not have the "right" to have babies, they are born with the ABILITY but just because you can doesn't mean you should and unfortunately, we don't come with instruction books or we wouldn't be seeing 13 year old girls dressed as and performing stripper moves in music videos with grown men.

Pregnancy and childbirth do not come with guarantees for anybody.

Your chances of becoming pregnant tomorrow, next year, next week or last year are unknown and the best your doctor can do is give you an educated guess, but it is still a guess and I strongly suggest that you take the focus off of your laundry list of what ifs and concentrate on what IS.

Do you love your boyfriend? Really? Does he love you? Really? Because if you can both answer yes than whether or not you ever become pregnant should not be an issue between you, it should be an issue that you meet and deal with TOGETHER. IF you cannot do this then perhaps you are not the right match to be together.

Life is unfair. Or is it? Who made the rules? Do you have the rule book to determine whether you are getting less out of life than your neighbors? Do you think they are thinking "Oh poor woman next door, she's being treated unfairly by life." or do you think they are thinking from time to time that they are getting the short end too?

The truth is that for all the research that has been done and is continuing to be done there are no clear cut answers, there are no guaranteed treatments and there are no certain predictions. The best you can do is try to pay attention to the signals your body gives you and respond to them as quickly as possible.

Stress in all of it's forms, emotional, mental and physical, is detrimental to your health. You say the homeopathy is helping but yet you focus your energy in wondering what is happening under your skin and worrying that it is getting worse without you knowing it. This can't possibly help you in any way so I urge you to stop yourself from doing this. Focus on what IS working instead of what is not working. Focus on building a solid relationship with your boyfriend instead of hinging your entire relationship on whether or not you can get pregnant. What if, after all of this you still can't get pregnant and the reason ends up being something wrong with his equipment, is he worried about you leaving him because of that? Would you? Why should you be worried about it then?

Some of this may sound harsh but I think you need to have somebody snap you out of the depressed funk you are quite obviously in. You're feeling sorry for yourself and ok, you're allowed to now and then but don't let it run and ruin your life.

At Mon, 10 Jan 2005, ann wrote: >
>Hi, I only come here once in a while but I am very worried. Actually I
>am worried to death. I have endo stage 3 and I am currently taking
>homeopathy medicine which it is supposed to make me get better in a
>period of about two years. I am going to be 33 in April and my
>boyfriend kind of wants to get married in about 2-3 years even though he
>knows my situation. Doctors usually tell me the sooner the better. I
>guess my boyfriend wants to save money and all this but what would my
>chances be at 36? Do any of you waited this long to have a baby? I spent
>my entire day crying because I feel lost. I am also afraid because he
>really thinks I will be fine and things will work out but if they don't
>he can live me and I am doomed. At times I don't understand why some
>have the right to have babies and others not. I guess it is the same
>way to why some people die early and others don't. I think life can be
>so unfair. I am also hoping my doctor will do another lap this year to
>find out how bad it got in the past two years. Usually my endo spreads
>two quickly. One year I had 3 laps. The homeopathy is helping and I
>have no pain and feel better but I am not sure what is happening inside.
>It is very hard for me living like this and at times I worry to death
>that my boyfriend will leave me. I actually know women that their
>husbands left them because of this. At times I prefer dying than being
>like this or being lonely for the rest of my life. Sorry for
>complaining I know all of you have problems but I am kind of desperate
>and can't stop crying.

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Previous message: Mel.: "Hysterectomy - Post Op.....My experience"
In reply to: ann: "very worried - please write"
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