Re: So very sad. Sadder than you think!
From: Angie (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Wed Dec 29 08:19:41 2004
Your post was very well written Anonymous! I strongly feel the same way.
My coworker started dating some loser who was already twice divorced and
had 2 children by 2 different women (only one of those women was an ex
wife, one was an ex girlfriend). Anyway, they moved in together and
started trying to get pregnant not too long afterward. It took a year
but she finally got pregnant. Right before she found out, he kicked her
out of their apartment because he had found himself a new girlfriend. So
she moved into an apartment alone for most of the pregnancy. Right
before their son was born, he broke up with the girlfriend and suckered
her into letting him move back in. They married 6 weeks later. One
year down the road he asked for a divorce and she moved out once again.
He got himself a female "roommate" but she moved out after a few months.
He was being very charming to my coworker for a few months but has just
recently found a new female "friend" and doesn't seem to have any time
for his wife or son anymore (neither one of them has money for a
divorce... in fact he hasn't given her hardly any money for child
support).
I know, long story but I just wanted to give my personal experience and
share what I've seen and continue to witness on a day to day basis with
my friend and coworker. Anonymous had it right... pick the guy who
will go out in the rain to get your cold medicine! I too picked that
guy, we have 2 beautiful boys and have been married for a little over 10
years and couldn't be happier!
I wish you the best of luck April!!
Take care,
Angie
At Mon, 27 Dec 2004, anonymous wrote:
>
>I find your post to be full of disturbing messages... Your boyfriend is
>screwing around with different women trying to knock one up because he
>couldn't get you pregnant?!? Good grief! What has happened to the world?
>
>Call me old fashioned but:
>
>#1 Consider yourself lucky to be rid of the dolt!
>
>#2 In a time when the religious zealots who are running the US are
>concerned that gay couples are endangering the sanctity of marriage,
>nobody seems to notice that marriage does not seem to be all that
>sanctified - apparently, young people today have figured out that the
>words "I Do" are not a magic spell that turn on the reproduction
>abilities and are therefore not necessary to ever say to anyone.
>Committment is no longer necessary and seemingly undesired!
>
>#3 Perhaps the problem with you getting pregnant was not 100% with you?
>Perhaps some primal instinctual part of you was not allowing him to
>impregnate you knowing full well that once the kid was around and Daddy
>Dearest realized how much work and committment was involved, the sperm
>donor be heading for the door. Or maybe his equipment is faulty.
>
>#4 Abortion was never meant to be used as birth control. Scarring is
>always a risk and repeated abortions can indeed compromise your
>fertility. Remember the old saying 'an ounce of prevention is worth a
>pound of cure?' It applies here. Abortion can be a lifesaver for a
>women who finds herself the unfortunate victim of circumstance but many
>use it as a "back-up" and that is just wrong. It endangers their health
>and their future fertility and doctors who do not discourage this are
>doing a great disservice to their patients.
>
>Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you're somehow a bad person for
>wanting to have a child, nor are you a bad person because you have had
>an abortion. Instead of worrying about Mr.
>I-just-wanna-get-a-girl-pregnant-to-prove-I-can, worry about your health
>and meeting the right guy you want to spend your life with. The guy who
>will go out in the pouring rain at 2 am and walk 4 blocks to the 7-11
>and get cold medicine for you because you were coughing and couldn't
>sleep. When you meet that guy, then say 'I Do' and toss aside your
>birth control. Until then, take those pills, use that diaphragm, use
>those condoms every time and protect your future and your future
>children.
>
>Good luck and happy hunting!
>
>A woman happily married to and completely in love with that guy.
>
>At Sun, 26 Dec 2004, April wrote:
>>
>>Hello everyone,
>>
>>Just wanted to let everyone know how infertility has affected me to the
>>point of losing hope on everything in life. My ex boyfriend and I were
>>together for 5 years before he broke up with me. The last 2 1/2 years
>>together we tried to get pregnant to no avail. It was discovered that I
>>had a fibroid which might be the cause and I had surgery. Still no
>>pregnancy. Well my boyfriend left me and now he is dating different
>>women in hopes of getting one of them pregnant. I just found out
>>recently one of them might be pregnant and of course you can imagine how
>>I feel. So just writing about this is kind of like therapy for me since
>>I can't talk about it to anyone in my family because I feel like
>>something is really wrong with me. Does anyone know if two abortions
>>can cause infertility and any suggestions for me?
>>Thanks for any advice.
>>
>>evemich11@att.net
>>>
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