ENDO Messages for July, 2004: a little laughter when you are having a bad endo day

a little laughter when you are having a bad endo day

From: Lisa (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Sat Jul 31 12:01:17 2004

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Previous message: michelle: "thanks to all for bextra input"

i received this in an email as i was sitting here last night in so much pain, so i had to pass it on, by the time i got through reading it i was laughing outloud. when you feel you can't change your situation, laughter can still bring hope :) enjoy!! ACTUAL AUSTRALIAN COURT DOCKET 12659---CASE OF THE PREGNANT LADY > > > >
> > > >A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man
> > > >opposite
> > > >her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This
> > time
> > > >the
> > > >smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more
> > > >amused.
> > > >When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained
> > to
> > > >the
> > > >driver and he had the man arrested. The case came up in court. The
> > judge
> > > >asked the man(about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself.
> > The
> > > >man
> > > >replied, "Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on
> > the
> > > >bus, I
> > > >couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat down under a sign
> > that
> > > >said,
> > > >"The Double Mint Twins are Coming" and I grinned. Then she moved
> > and
> > > >sat
> > > >under a sign that said, "Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling"
> > and
> > > >I
> > > >had to smile. Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that
> > said,
> > > >"William's Big Stick Did the Trick", and I could hardly contain
> > myself.
> > > >BUT,
> > > >your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign
> > that
> > > >said,
> > > >"Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident"... I just lost
> > it."
> > > >"CASE DISMISSED!!"
> > > >
> > > >Think you are having a bad day?
> > > >
> > > >Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out
> > section of
> > > >forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The
> > deceased
> > > >male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on
> > his
> > > >back, flippers, and face mask.
> > > >
> > > >A postmortem test revealed that the man died not from burns, but
> > from
> > > >massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive
> > > >identification. Investigators then set about to determine how a
> > fully
> > > >clothed diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire.
> > > >
> > > >It was revealed that on the day of the fire, the man went diving off
> > the
> > > >coast, some 20 miles from the forest. The fire fighters, seeking to
> > > >control the fire as quickly as possible, had called in a fleet of
> > > >helicopters with very large dip buckets. Water was dipped from the
> > ocean
> > > >and emptied at the site of the forest fire.
> > > >
> > > >You guessed it. One minute our diver was making like Flipper in the
> > > >Pacific, the next, he was doing the breast stroke in a fire dip
> > bucket
> > > >300 feet in the air. Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of
> > bed.
> > > >
> > > >Still think you're having a bad day?
> > > >
> > > >A man was working on his motorcycle on the patio, his wife nearby in
> > the
> > > >kitchen. While racing the engine, the motorcycle accidentally
> > slipped
> > > >into gear. The man, still holding onto the handlebars, was dragged
> > along
> > > >as it burst through the glass patio doors.
> > > >
> > > >His wife, hearing the crash, ran in the room to find her husband cut
> > and
> > > >bleeding, the motorcycle, and the shattered patio door. She called
> > for
> > > >an ambulance and, because the house sat on a fairly large hill,
> > went
> > > >down the several flights of stairs to meet the paramedics and
> > escort
> > > >them to her husband.
> > > >
> > > >While the attendants were loading her husband, the wife managed to
> > right
> > > >the motorcycle and push it outside. She also quickly blotted up the
> > > >spilled gasoline with some paper towels and tossed them into the
> > toilet.
> > > >
> > > >After being treated and released, the man returned home, looked at
> > the
> > > >shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He went
> > into
> > > >the bathroom and consoled himself with a cigarette while attending
> > to
> > > >his business. About to stand, he flipped the butt between his legs.
> > > >
> > > >The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her
> > husband
> > > >screaming. Finding him lying on the bathroom floor with his
> > trousers
> > > >blown away and burns on his buttocks, legs and groin, she once
> > again
> > > >phoned for an ambulance. The same paramedic crew was dispatched.
> > > >
> > > >As the paramedics carried the man down the stairs to the ambulance
> > they
> > > >asked the wife how he had come to burn himself. She told them. They
> > > >started laughing so hard, one slipped, the stretcher and dumping
> > the
> > > >husband out. He fell down the remaining stairs, breaking his arm.
> > > >
> > > >Still having a bad day? Just remember, it could be worse...
> > > >
> > > >The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez
> > oil
> > > >spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most
> > > >expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild
> > amid
> > > >cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a
> > > >killer whale ate them both.
> > > >
> > > >Still think you are having a bad day?
> > > >
> > > >A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking
> > > >frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire
> > running
> > > >from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him
> > away
> > > >from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of
> > wood,
> > > >breaking his arm in two places. Up to that moment, he had been
> > happily
> > > >listening to his Walkman.
> > > >
> > > >STILL think you're having a bad day?
> > > >
> > > >Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of
> > sending
> > > >pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany. Suddenly, all two
> > thousand
> > > >pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding
> > madly.
> > > >The two hopeless protesters were trampled to death.
> > > >
> > > >What?! STILL having a bad day??
> > > >
> > > >Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter
> > > >bomb. It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it. Forgetting
> > it
> > > >was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.
> > > >
> > > >There now, feeling better?
> > > >

Next message: Kim: "Re: chronic candida...any tests to tell if it's from the intestine? TRANSMISSION!!"
Previous message: michelle: "thanks to all for bextra input"

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