Re: So Depressed!!
From: Amanda (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Mon Apr 19 15:53:31 2004
At Mon, 19 Apr 2004, Margarette wrote:
>
Margarette,
Thanks for the support. I have a best friend who just had her second
baby and I love them to death but I to was jealous and then instantly
hated myself for feeling that way since she is always there for me
whenever I need her. Her little girl even calls me "aunt mandi"
I am hopefull the shots will work and we can have a family afterwards
the hope keeps me going and as everyone LOVES to tell me I'm ONLY 27!
I just went and got some calcium and evening primose oil so hopefully
that will help counteract some of the side effects but I haven't had
anything major yet. The pain is subsided for the time so I am truly
grateful for that!
Take Care and feel free to email me anytime.
Amanda
>Hi Amanda,
>
>Good luck with the Lupron. I had to laugh in sympathy at your story. My
>husband and I have been married almost six years, and we're getting up
>there (43 & 48) and people *still* ask. I used to be polite and say
>things like "someday" blah blah blah, but now I just say "I can't have
>children." It shuts them up. I know that people don't mean to be rude,
>and they are just trying to be friendly (weddings seem to bring out the
>baby talk), but like you, it makes me sad. I have a reputation for
>being blunt, so I work it. Usually they change the subject very
>quickly, or if they are seeming to want to ask questions, and it's an
>appropriate situation, I start to give the "endometriois lecture." I'm
>one of the lucky ones who has a child from an earlier marriage, but I
>still want more, and now we're too old to adopt. I understand the
>crying at babies thing. A friend of ours had a "surprise" baby right
>before her 40th and I had trouble spending time with the baby for a
>while. It comes and goes, but right now I'm having a bad patch because
>my son's godmother AND my sister-in-law are due in November and I'm
>jealous! I haven't mentioned it to anyone, so frankly I'm glad I can
>write it here. Then I feel like a bad person for being jealous, but I
>know I'll get over it eventually. Argh! Now I've written myself into a
>little tear session! But Amanda, you're certainly not alone. I'll keep
>you in my prayers! Margarette
>
>At Sun, 18 Apr 2004, Amanda wrote:
>>
>>Hi all,
>>Well I am ten days into my first round of Lupron shots and so far the
>>only thing I've noticed is not sleeping well and starting to get a hot
>>flash here and there so not to bad yet.
>>My husband and I went to a wedding reception last night and I was so
>>excited, I thought finally a chance to go out and have fun and put
>>things out of my mind for a night.
>>Well...... we weren't in the door but 5 minutes and the questions
>>began. "So when are the two of you going to start a family" "Do you
>>have any kids" Ahhhhh I wanted to scream!!! Maybe I should just wear a
>>sign that explains my medical history! I ran into a girl who is not
>>liked by many people and she asked when we were going to have kids and I
>>simply replied "someday". She said well honey last time I looked
>>"someday" isn't on the calendar! I swear I wanted to knock her on her
>>butt!!!
>>I guess when you have two miscarraiges, get diagnosed with a blood
>>clotting disorder and then edometriosis and have a very tipped uterus
>>you don't find those questions to be fun to answer! I know people mean
>>well and they don't know my history but when we got home all I could do
>>was cry. I almost lost it in church this morning when I saw the cutest
>>baby infront of us.
>>I know that we will have a family someday even if it does mean adopting
>>but I can't help feeling hopeless on days like that! Then I get mad at
>>myself and feel selfish knowing there are other people with far greater
>>problems than I have.
>>Just needed to vent and not keep all this bottled up inside like I used
>>to do. Thanks for listening and hope you are all doing well. You are
>>all in my thoughts and prayers and we will get through the tough
>>times.... together...
>>Best Wishes and prayers to all!!!
>>Amanda
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