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Re: 1st surgery
From: Margarette (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Sun Apr 18 05:45:58 2004
To tell you the truth, I don't think the endo was a main cause, but it
certainly helped. I have to admit, I just made bad choices! Well, to
tell the truth, husband #1 wouldn't even go out to the store to buy me
pads after my first surgery. He was too "embarrassed". My younger
brother took a bus 3 hours to take care of me as he didn't trust my
husband's care. And after the big surgery I mentioned, after 10 days in
the hosp, my mom came and after seeing him in action, took me to her
house as hubby was such a jerk! The night I got home, he wanted me to
get up and find his car title! So I guess they noticed a lot more than I
did. (I tell these stories to maybe bring a smile to people. It was a
long time ago and I can see the buffoonishness of his behavior now. If
it was on TV who would believe it?) But this husband is very good about
the whole issue, and I know now having a supportive spouse makes a world
of difference. I think finding the right guy had a lot to do with
getting older and learning to stand up for myself. And having a son
helped. I didn't want jerks around him! Good luck, Vanessa. We
certainly don't *need* partners, but they make life easier if they are
truly help-meets. Maybe it helped that my current husband and I were
just friends for a year before it turned romantic. And since he's easy
to talk to, he'd heard about my disease in glorious detail. He's also
has a bad heart, so I think he understands that people sometimes come
with physical baggage.
At Sat, 17 Apr 2004, Vanessa wrote:
>
>I noticed in your reply Margarette that you have had a couple of
>husbands. I myself have never been married but have been through my
>share of boyfriends that do not understand. I think a lot of my
>relationships have ended because of Endo and my partners lack of
>understanding and caring. I also think the utterly painful sex played a
>part as well...as it would hurt so much i would avoid it at all cost. Is
>your story similar? How many women out there have dealt with losing a
>partner because of this disease? I guess I haven't found Mr right
>then...if he were Mr right he would understand....wouldn't he????
>
>At Sat, 17 Apr 2004, Margarette wrote:
>
>>Good luck Heather, and I just wanted to answer because I, too, had a
>>"grapefruit-sized mass" on my ovary (my dr's exact words, too) and a
>>smaller one on the other ovary. This was 18 years ago (and I can't
>>believe it was that long ago). When he removed the larger mass, he took
>>a wedge cut out of the ovary, but the other ovary he didn't have to cut.
>>Four years later (including one laser lap and two courses of Danocrine,
>>one after each surgery plus one *husband* later), I had a baby. Haven't
>>had success since, but didn't try until much later (yet *another*
>>husband!). My new doctor and I agreed the the ovary that had the wedge
>>cut no longer ovulates, but the other side seems to work fine. I
>I noticed in your
>
>>ovulate, but don't get pregnant. By the time I had the surgery to
>>remove the masses, though, I was relieved to hear there was something
>>wrong. I had been to seven doctors and each one found "nothing". One
>>even did an exploratory lap, but because I was so young--22--didn't
>>biopsy the "cysts" he removed. They couldn't have been endo, he said.
>>Four years later, I was at stage IV. So having the ultrasound and the
>>subsequent surgery assured me that I wasn't crazy or a whiner, something
>>my doctors often implied. One even said it was because I wanted
>>attention from my straying husband! Technology has really improved since
>>those ancient days of '86, so you're not alone and things look brighter
>>than they did then. Feel free to write me at connor@fillibabba.com if
>>you need to vent/talk. Margarette
>>
>>At Fri, 16 Apr 2004, Heather wrote:
>>>
>>>I just found out that I have a mass on my right ovary the size of a
>>>extra large grapefruit and one on my left ovary the size of a golf
>>>ball/tennis ball. I am scheduled for surgery on April 30th. I a bit
>>>nervous yet anxious about getting this all taken care of. I have tried
>>>for 2 years to get pregnant with no success. I believe this could be
>>>the reason. I am primarily nervous due to the fact of these masses
>>>being on my ovaries. Has anyone gone through this? Or is going through
>>>this? I need some support right now as I feel like I am alone.
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