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Treatment has not helped my endometriosis! Advice? Anyone?From: anonymous (anonymous@obgyn.net)Thu Feb 5 22:28:21 2004
I am writing to this forum in desperation, because I feel like I've reached the end of my rope. I am 30, single, and have had endo for about 15 years. My heavy and long periods, excessive clotting, and terrible cramps finally got to me and I decided to go ahead with the treatments my doctor had been recommending to me for a couple of years. I had a laparoscopy and hysteroscopy in May 2003. During the exam, they realized that I was also suffering from chronic appendicitis (misdiagnosed as a kidney infection the year before) and an endometrial appendix, so they removed that. Two weeks later, I had my first Lupron shot. I was on Lupron for 6 months. During the Lupron treatment, I gained 30 pounds, had hot flashes so badly I brought three shirts to work everyday because I would soak through them, and was extremely emotionally labile. I have been taking Lasix since July 2003 because I retain water so badly that my shoes actually cut into my feet. My ankles have been so swollen that my socks have left bruises in my calves! When I told the dr. that I was concerned about the edema and weight gain, she told me to work out and drink more water. (How was I supposed to work out when I feel like a huge water balloon and my ankles hurt because they are so swollen???) I have resumed menstruation. It is just as bad as before the laparoscopy/hysteroscopy and Lupron. I still have horrible cramps, a heavy period, and clots that make it impossible for me to get out of the shower. It's disgusting. It did NOTHING to help. The only difference in how I feel is that now, I am completely disgusted and have absolutely no self-esteem. I cry myself to sleep every single night, starve myself, work out as much as I can, and I can't lose an ounce. The treatment didn't help. The only thing it did for me was make me fat and ruin my self-worth. I feel awful, emotionally and physically. My ankles are still swollen, even on 40mg of Lasix a day. And now, I am taking Wellbutrin for depression, but that's not helping either. I do not want and have never wanted children. I have begged my drs. office for an earlier appointment, but they told me that the earliest I can get in is March. So I have to wait til then to see the dr. I have been begging for a hysterectomy for four years now, but she won't do that because she is worried that I would change my mind. Frankly, even if I did want kids, there's no way I would have them because I am so disgustingly fat and ugly that no man in his right mind would want to make one with me. So she's preserving my fertility for something that will never happen because any chance I had of meeting anyone is GONE, thanks to her, the Lupron, and a total waste of my time for the last 8 months doing something that did not help at ALL. I am at the end of my rope. I have done the treatments, and they have, as far as I can see, produced no good effect, and have basically ruined my life. Right now, I am so sad, angry, frustrated, and upset, that I actually fantasize before I get my period about passing out at work or at the grocery store the next time I get my period, hemmoraging, and being rushed to the ER for surgery. Because I honestly think that at this point, the only thing that is going to make the pain go away is a hysterectomy. And since they won't do it willingly, I pray that I just start bleeding so badly someday that they just don't have a choice. Help. Please, someone...I cannot live like this! I also think that the pain in my bowels is worse, because before the Lupron and the surgery, I only had pain in the rectum when I went to the bathroom during my period, and now it's all the time. :((( S
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