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Re: Venting sorry if long
From: Amy (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Tue Sep 23 08:03:43 2003
Kelly,
Hang in there! It sounds like your boyfriend is supportive and
understanding. It can be a definite strain on a relationship. I am
married now (for two years) and my hubby is great and always there for
me, sex or no sex, but the emotional game of always wondering if he will
tire of it is exhausting! I am in my early 30's and should be in the
prime of my sex life, but am not because of endo. I often bleed during
or after sex and am almost always in pain afterward, if not during. We
have learned that some positions work better (not to be too blunt but me
on top is not as bad because I can control things a little). I also
find it helps if he gives me a back rub or massage first. Helps to
relax me and get my mind off the anticipated pain. And while I hate to
have to plan sex, sometimes we do based on how I am feeling that day. If
we plan ahead a little, I also find that taking 2-3 Advil prior helps.
If you ever want to vent, please email me direct. Every woman with endo
has been there, done that and we all understand. It does help to know
you are not alone!
--
Amy Meyer
At Mon, 22 Sep 2003, Kelly wrote:
>
>Ok ladies so this is a vent and sorry in advance for being long.
>
>So my BF and i have not been together intimently since the 1st b/c of
>all this endo crap so finally on Sat. we were going to be alone and i
>was pain free Well Fri. I got AF damm her!!! So that put a stop to that
>and i was so upset and not even that we couldnt have sex but fustrated
>and worried that this crap could drive him off. we have been together
>alittle over a year and have been friends for like 7 and we overcame
>like a million in one obstycals to be together. so i started crying
>saying i hate that i cant control my pain and its not fair and theres no
>cure so its never going to leave and is he sure that he could handle
>this b/c he has said many time that he is scared he is going to hurt me
>and i'll end up curled up in a ball after we have sex b/c of the pain.
>so i said look i need to know if u can handle this and i dont want u to
>be scared your going to hurt me so then it went into this whole macho
>thing of he's not scared i tried to tell him im not saying scared like
>that he just took it the wrong way then he said look is sex that
>important and i was like yes and no and i dont want u to get fustrated
>(he's 27) and look for it else where b/c your scared to have sex w/ me
>and hes like look its not that important to me and i'm not going to
>leave over that but i just feel its easier said that done. so i ended
>up in tears rolled over and cried he pulled me back and said dont worry
>were going to get thew this together i love you but it still doesnt make
>me feel any better i know he loves me but how much can a person handle
>this endo drives me crazy and is cracking me i can only imagine what it
>does to our other halves!!!!!!!!!!!!! sorry ladies i'm just so upset and
>the dam pain meds the doc. gave me doesnt help for anything so here i
>sit at work dying i might just do my own lap right here at my desk. LOL
>sorry but thats how i feel. thanks for listening
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