Re: Are all of these feelings NORMAL??
From: Denise (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Mon Sep 15 02:12:55 2003
Kim,
I am sorry that you are going through this right after your marriage.
During the honeymoon of my second marrige I couldn't make love with my
husband too:) I would just have your hubby look at all the web-sites
about endo-each one has a little bit of different info (info that you
won't find on another one). My struggles with endo has caused my second
marriage to end-because I could rarely have sex with him, my now
ex-husband (#2) thought I was cheating on him behind his back. I too
try and hide the pain from everyone around me (even my live-in
boyfriend). He has done research about endo and does everything he can
for me-runs the errands, cleans the house, and take care of my kids when
I can not, which is pretty often. I feel pretty useless and find myself
apologizing and thanking him every chance I get. But even when I am at
my lowest I remember that women like us need the greatest of men-I have
found mine finally and you hopefully found yours. But feeling like this
is normal-just try and keep your head up:)
Shade And Sweet Water--Denise
At Fri, 12 Sep 2003, Kim wrote:
>
>Hello, here I am once again. You guys have been great. I have just
>been feeling really down lately. I guess it probably is normal w/all of
>the pain we deal w/on a daily basis. I feel bad complaining, b/c unlike
>some of you on the board, I have had my children so at this point in my
>life that is not a concern, couldn't imagine dealing with that on top of
>this, I feel for all of you. I just feel so rotten that I am just not
>myself and I don't like it. Usually I'm an upbeat person always smiling
>and joking around and I miss that person, haven't seen her in a while.
>I'm so sick and tired of being sick and tired! I'm sure you can all
>relate. I have so much hope in my lap., and I probably should face
>reality that it probably won't "cure" me, but atleast I hope to get some
>answers and go from there. I guess one of the biggest things is that I
>just married the love of my life after being together for 4 years (my
>2nd marriage), we got Married in Aug., almost had to call off the
>wedding b/c I landed myself in the hospital just a couple of days before
>our wedding from the PAIN! Anyway, we couldn't even make love on our
>wedding night, and our intimate life just is no where the same and I
>feel guilty about that. Deep down I know I shouldn't, but I can't help
>it. We looked so forward to being married, and I feel like I'm not
>being a good enough wife. I try to keep up w/everything around the home
>as I'm not working right now, hoping to get something soon when I'm up
>to it. He's a wonderful man and a excellent step-father to my children!
>I try not to complain all of the time, but I wonder if he doesn't
>realize how hard this is for me right now b/c I think I try to "hide"
>the pain if I can b/c I don't want to be a baby. Then I push myself too
>far being superwoman and it just kills me! I will make love w/him (he
>says no we don't have to I don't want you in pain) but I do b/c I feel
>like I'm "neglecting" his needs, then I pay for it afterwards and try to
>play it down. How can I really explain this all to him and help him to
>understand what I'm going thru and make him realize that I'm not trying
>to push him a way, I'm just not myself lately! It really stinks b/c the
>last month or 2 has been the WORSE for me, and who wants to start their
>marriage out like this, I guess maybe it'll bring us closer?!?! I always
>try to look on the bright side, sometimes it's hard as I'm sure you can
>relate! Any place I should have him look online to help him understand
>what I'm going thru and that it has nothing to do w/him, I'm just not
>myself but love him and need him more than ever! Thanks for your help,
>and sorry this is so long!
>Kim
>
>--
>Kim Bills
>
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