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Re: Feelin Down - To MarthaFrom: Rachel (anonymous@obgyn.net)Sun Apr 27 17:09:21 2003
Martha, I feel exactly the same way. I wasn't diagnosed with endo until I was 24, and have had two laparoscopies within a year and a half. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years this week, we've lived together for 2 years, and have been friends for 8 1/2 years. I'm 26 now, he's 23. He just got out of the military last fall and started college and I finished college 2 1/2 years ago. He's not ready for anything, and on the rare occasions where we even talk about possible engagement, it goes nowhere. I'm finally coming to the realization that we're in different places in our lives, and that might not change within my time frame. My instincts tell me that I don't have much fertile time left, I get teary-eyed when I see babies, I've found myself getting madly jealous of pregnant women (especially those who eat like crap and don't seem to care). I'm ready to build a life and a family and my boyfriend isn't. That tends to make me want it all even more, almost like I'm feeling cheated out of the things that I want. For me, there's probably going to come a point when I'm either going to get the things that I want, or I'm going to have to move on. Other than sharing your situation, I don't have any advice. All I can tell you is I feel the same way you do, and those feelings make me feel trapped and lost and alone.
-- Rachel
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