Re: Advice on how to get hubby to understand....
From: Jillian (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Thu Mar 20 13:40:39 2003
Well, i have gone from a totally understanding guy (in the beginning) to one that has no clue what im going through. I am so sorry that it is hard to get a lot of men to understand. I agree with the pelvic exam thing, it's how i got my ex to understand. I mean it's so hard to give advice on something of this sort. I can only hope that we can help and support you enough so that it will make you stronger. I wish there was more i could say or do. Hope yer havin a better day.
holly <anonymous@obgyn.net> wrote:i am so sorry that you aren't getting enough support. has your dh gone
with you to your doctor? perhaps that might help. when my dh went and
saw how uncomfortable i was during the pelvic exam because of the pain,
he started to understand a little better. i still drive him nuts
sometimes, but we are both getting better at dealing with things.
i really have no other advice. hopefully, some other people will.
At Wed, 19 Mar 2003, anonymous wrote:
>
>Hi there, I'm experiencing problems getting my husband to realize that
>I'm sick and need some help around the house and with responsibilities.
>I am in pain/nausea/aching about two weeks of the month yet I am still
>doing the same amount of work as I was when I felt pretty much ok. I am
>tired, I can still do the work, but I'm so tired all the time. I
>already work ft, and on top of it I have always been in charge of
>running the house, groceries, laundry, pretty much all of it. He try's
>to do 1/2 the cleaning, and his own laundry, but he probably only does
>about 30% of the cleaning and only his clothes - no towels or sheets. He
>says he'll do more to help, but does nothing different. If I just leave
>stuff hoping that he'll do it, he doesn't. He thinks he's doing alot -
>he asks how I'm feeling everyday and makes sad faces when I'm hurting. I
>can't think of anything else he is doing specifically for my endo, or
>anything that is new since it has gotten so much worse. I read him
>stories from this forum, and discussed it with him, I had hoped it would
>help him understand what I'm in for and how bad it really is for those
>two weeks every month. All it did was turn him off of sex, he winced
>the whole time I read the stories to him, covered his ears, and acted
>like it was gross. Although the endo doesn't really affect our sex, it
>has affected our fertility, we are waiting to adopt, so he hasn't been
>able to totally ignore the disease. I discussed it with him last night,
>told him he isn't 'taking care of me' very well. He said it's hard to
>take care of me when I'm a b**tch all the time, it pushes him away. He
>says he understands that I'm irritated, but I should take it out
>elsewhere not at him, then he would help me more. How can I not be a
>b**tch when I do all the work and am sick all the time. I feel so
>frustrated !
>
>Advice? How can I get him to undestand?
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