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Advice on how to get hubby to understand....From: anonymous (anonymous@obgyn.net)Wed Mar 19 15:39:40 2003
Hi there, I'm experiencing problems getting my husband to realize that I'm sick and need some help around the house and with responsibilities. I am in pain/nausea/aching about two weeks of the month yet I am still doing the same amount of work as I was when I felt pretty much ok. I am tired, I can still do the work, but I'm so tired all the time. I already work ft, and on top of it I have always been in charge of running the house, groceries, laundry, pretty much all of it. He try's to do 1/2 the cleaning, and his own laundry, but he probably only does about 30% of the cleaning and only his clothes - no towels or sheets. He says he'll do more to help, but does nothing different. If I just leave stuff hoping that he'll do it, he doesn't. He thinks he's doing alot - he asks how I'm feeling everyday and makes sad faces when I'm hurting. I can't think of anything else he is doing specifically for my endo, or anything that is new since it has gotten so much worse. I read him stories from this forum, and discussed it with him, I had hoped it would help him understand what I'm in for and how bad it really is for those two weeks every month. All it did was turn him off of sex, he winced the whole time I read the stories to him, covered his ears, and acted like it was gross. Although the endo doesn't really affect our sex, it has affected our fertility, we are waiting to adopt, so he hasn't been able to totally ignore the disease. I discussed it with him last night, told him he isn't 'taking care of me' very well. He said it's hard to take care of me when I'm a b**tch all the time, it pushes him away. He says he understands that I'm irritated, but I should take it out elsewhere not at him, then he would help me more. How can I not be a b**tch when I do all the work and am sick all the time. I feel so frustrated ! Advice? How can I get him to undestand?
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