Re: Gosh.....people can be cruel......I feel like screaming....:o-to all who
From: anonymous (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Wed Jun 19 11:29:38 2002
I agree with Amanda completely. Right or wrong, everyone has made good
points that are true for them and now we should start fresh in a
non-hostile tone. If we all keep others feelings first in mind and try
to be non-judgemental when making clarifications I am sure we can avoid
this kind of situation from recurring. We are all here because we don't
know EVERYTHING and we want to learn- so let's try to be more sensitive
when we think someone is misinformed or just plain wrong. Have a great
day everyone.
Anon
At Wed, 19 Jun 2002, Amanda wrote:
>
>I think that the points have all been made...while what Anon said
>offended many people, she has admitted that she didn't mean it to. She
>has apologized for sounding mean and I imagine she has a very complete
>perspective on the issue now. I know it is tempting to take anger out
>on her for every doctor, coworker, boss, husband, friend etc. that has
>made us feel that we are imagining our symptoms....but she is not all of
>those people. She is just one person sharing her opinion about a
>situation that I am sure for some people, somewhere, is true. It is
>unlikely the case here that any of us are malingering as why would you
>seek private support for a condition that you know you don't have. I
>think that it is important to keep in mind that written communication is
>more difficult because we don't have tone and body language to guide us
>in understanding the speaker. Someone made a comment in an earlier
>message about people being cowardly or whatever for not identifying
>themselves...with the level of hostility when someone is misundertsood
>or disagreed with, it really doesn't surprise me!
>I think that we all have a lot to offer each other here as will any new
>people who join us. I hope everyone is having a super day.
>Amanda
>
>At Wed, 19 Jun 2002, Wanda wrote:
>>
>>I think until you have your medical degree that you might refrain from
>>giving psychological and/or medical advice.
>>
>>If it is all in my head...then why at EACH of my laps, Endo was found, along
>>with adhesions, and cysts....but I suppose my MD's imagine those and so did
>>I.
>>
>>I DID NOT QUIT MY JOB...I GOT FIRED BECAUSE OF THE PAIN ASSOCIATED FROM
>>ENDOMETRIOSIS...which on EACH pathology report from each of my 8 surgeries
>>was found...but I suppose that was in my head and the pathologists head. My
>>ovary was removed because it was full of Endo and stuck to my bowels because
>>of Endo, my appendix was removed because it was inflamed and FULL of Endo
>>per the pathology report and my surgeon. I have had laser excision several
>>times and EACH time there was ENDO. Explain that......if you are so
>>knowledgable.
>>
>>Also, my question is if you have minimal pain, then why do you need an Endo
>>support group? We are all here to SUPPORT each other and not put each other
>>down REGARDLESS if the pain is in our heads or not.
>>
>>Wanda
>>
>>>From: anonymous@obgyn.net (anonymous)
>>>Reply-To: anonymous@obgyn.net
>>>To: Multiple recipients of list ENDO <anonymous@obgyn.net>
>>>Subject: Re: Gosh.....people can be cruel......I feel like
>>>screaming....:o-to all who quit their jobs!!!!!!!!-t o Jess, Kristy and
>>>Wanda AND MARIE
>>>Date: Tue, 18 Jun 2002 18:39:22 -0500
>>>
>>>If the message had been read properly, I said that during my summer
>>>holidays I worked full time(always close to 40 hours) but during the
>>>university year, which I also do full time(ie. 20 contact
>>>hours+additional at home study) I only work about 15 hours...which if
>>>you add up is about 35-45 hours. So yes, I do have
>>>responsibilities...different to yours but I do have them!
>>>
>>>Look, I'm not trying to be nasty or anything. I didn't mean it to come
>>>out that way from the start.
>>>I just wanted to bring across another point of view, ie. that sometime
>>>people are so caught up in their endo problems(plus other medical
>>>problems) that it takes over their lives, and maybe for some, and I'm
>>>only saying for some, that the pain is psychological. I know so many of
>>>you have been told "it's all in your head" and I think that's totally
>>>worng...as I've been told the same...but maybe for some it's actually
>>>true!
>>>
>>>At Tue, 18 Jun 2002, marie wrote:
>>> >
>>> >Oh honey 15 hours is not barely part time I cannot believe someone would
>>> >say they work full time i work 40 hrs a week and run a household my pain
>>> >is unbearable and for you to say im all caught up in it i dont think so
>>> >i have to work clean cook take care of a family and then deal with my
>>> >bad health you apparently do not have to carry much responsibility in
>>> >your life to pop off to us for hurting for most of us this is the only
>>> >place anyone can talk to us and not make us feel so lonely. so next
>>> >time maybe you might restrain your comments thank you marie
>>> >
>>> >At Tue, 18 Jun 2002, another wrote:
>>> >>
>>> >>At Mon, 17 Jun 2002, wrote:
>>> >>>
>>> >>>Anonymous,
>>> >>
>>> >>One of the medical facts that completely has escaped you is the fact
>>> >>that everyone's pain threshold is different. Yes, 2 patients can be
>>> >>diagnosed with the same severe condition, but one feels it more acutely.
>>> >>The one with the higher threshold is able to function better because of
>>> >>it. Having witnessed this in cancer patients I, or any medical
>>> >>professional can tell you this. So, it's wonderful that endo isn't your
>>> >>whole life, and nearly everyone strives to be the same way. Anyway,
>>> >>aren't you being inconsistent in your answers????? Didn't you previously
>>> >>excoriate the others because you are able to work "full time"???
>>> >>Ten-fifteen hours/week is hardly full time.
>>> >>
>>> >>--
>>> >>Another anonymous
>>> >>>
>>> >>>At Sat, 15 Jun 2002, anonymous wrote:
>>> >>>>
>>> >>>>periods started.
>>> >>>>I too, am in a lots of pain, especially around my period(today being
>>>one
>>> >>>>of those days!!!!!) but I also get pain anytime during the cycle and
>>> >>>>just like for you all, it's a pain in the ass for me too!
>>> >>>>After my first lap, I started to give up on study, I withdrew from 2
>>> >>>>subjects...I barely passed the other 3.
>>> >>>>Then the new year started and I realised if I kept that up I'd be like
>>> >>>>this throughout my whole uni life! And I didn't want that. I know
>>> >>>>there's no cure. So I just decided to get on with life.
>>> >>>>I had to arrange my 2nd lap in jan 2002 around my employer's
>>> >>>>schedule...and seeing that I'm only a casual worker who during the uni
>>> >>>>year works only 10-15 hours I thought that was a bit harsh. So like
>>>all
>>> >>>>of you, my employer just doesn't get it either. My friends don't get
>>>it
>>> >>>>either...my Mum lives overseas, so what I'm trying to say is that I
>>> >>>>don't really have anyone to talk to about endo. That's why I like
>>>these
>>> >>>>forums. But I think the difference is that I don't think endo is my
>>> >>>>life...I want to and do lead a normal life like all my friends.
>>> >>>>I just think some people are so caught up in all their endo problems,
>>> >>>>they really do believe that it's such a massive problem. I think if
>>>you
>>> >>>>steer some of your attention and energy away from endo, it won't be
>>> >>>>causing such a massive problem.
>>> >>>>
>>> >>>>These are just my opinions.
>>> >>>>Thanks.
>>> >>>
>>> >--
>>> >you can email me wonderwoman_91@yahoo.com
>>> >
>>>
Please be aware that all e-mail on this forum is archived and can be viewed at
http://forums.obgyn.net/endo and is accessible to anybody on the internet
including internet search engines. This should be taken into consideration
before sending postings of a personal or confidential nature.
![[ endo@obgyn.net ]](../../images/endo_at_obgyn.gif)