ENDO Messages for March, 2002: Re: Anyone experienced discrimination at work due to endo?

Re: Anyone experienced discrimination at work due to endo?

From: pam (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Thu Mar 28 21:38:01 2002

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At Tue, 26 Mar 2002, Mary wrote: >
>At Tue, 26 Mar 2002, anna wrote:
>>
>>At Tue, 26 Mar 2002, Joan wrote:
>>>
>>>Hello everyone-
>>>
>>>I am currently having problems at work due to the time I am missing
>>>because of endo. I work at a busy office, and I miss about 2 days a
>>>month because of endo pain. Recently, I have been being treated like I
>>>am not part of the team and am letting everyone else down because I am
>>>not there. I have heard rumours that the boss is considering firing me
>>>because of my missed days.
>>>Anyone experienced anything like this? Any advice?
>>>Thanks,
>>>Jo
>>
>>i had the same problem until they decided to fire me and i am thinking
>>of hiring a lawyer since i have a lot o notes i brought them. try to
>>take a doctor's note to your work explaining that you will need so many
>>days a month due to illness. i work in hr well not now but legally you
>>can have 3 months of leave of absent if you take 2 a month that is about
>>24 days. talk to your doctor. if you get fired you will be protected
>>if you decide to hire a lawyer.

Well, it's odd I would read this particular message today. I have missed days here and there, it's been slightly frowned upon, but I missed all of last week, and boy did I receive the "cold shoulder" when I returned on Monday. (Still in some pain) I got a call from my office manager telling me she would be mailing me some info and paperwork on FMLA. Everyone keeps asking me "have you called the doctor back?" Everyone thinks I should just go get some surgery, quit whining, and get on with things. I have a laparascopy set for April 9. Dr. will be removing left ovary, poss right ovary, lysis of any adhesions, and fulgeration of endo. When I told them I may be out for two weeks, they questioned that, and stated that's it's really no more than a tubal ligation, and there wouldn't be any reason to miss more that a day or so. Everyone thinks there is an instant cure, and after the first occurrence of pain, I should have insisted on surgery then and there, instead of trying alternative approaches. It made me feel a little better to know you others are dealing with these issues too. I hope others share how they have dealt with these issues.

>
>Hello Anna and everyone,
>We are constantly learning(the hard way mostly) with endo. We find it
>hard to understand what we are going through but we get through it by
>helping one another. So we have to stop and think, how can those who
>have no idea about the disease understand when we don't always. We have
>to teach them. Supply them with documentation on the disease, the
>symptoms the effects(physical and psychological), the treatments and all
>the horror stories which come with them, the fact that they don't know
>the cause of endo and that there is no cure. We are exhausted from the
>disease and we have to battle those closest to us because they don't
>know, so we have to find the energy to teach them. A friend who I've
>known for almost 20 years seemed to understand. Yet, a month ago, after
>seeing a documentary on endo, she said to my husband"Mary is really sick
>isn't she?" My gut reaction was to call her and say"Duh, where have you
>been all this time?" Our emotions and fears get in the way and we don't
>always explain what we're going through. We have to teach everyone.
>After many absences over the years,then 6 weeks off last fall, and 1
>week off for a ruptured cyst, plus a sick day here and there, it was
>suggested from my employer that maybe I retire or think of other things
>I may want to do which are less hectic on my health. She meant well but
>still, the pressure was there. I no longer felt comfortable or secure
>about my job after that. I gave her facts on endo, the survivor's
>letter, and my own testimonial and story which I had written for a press
>conference. I give her updates on horror stories about endo, Lupron,
>Depo,tamoxifen...etc.
>I feel like i no longer have the energy or want to battle people and get
>their approval that yes I am sick. I'm tired of fighting for
>credibility, but I have no choice. As long as you cover your a__,pardon
>my bluntness, no one can give you grief. Especially employers. Get
>medical certificates if you have to. I don't know how it works in the
>States, but I try to get notes from doctors when I see them. Things are
>a bit better at work because now my boss understands a bit more and
>doesn't just hear me say i'm in pain.I elaborate.
>I'm almost 40 and after suffering for what seems like forever, my own
>mother is just beginning to get the picture. We have to keep in mind
>that our frustrations sometimes get in the way of getting the right
>message across. I know that is the case for me, so I'm trying to teach
>those around me as much as possible.
>Take care
>Mary

Next message: blah: "Re: Questions"
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In reply to: Mary: "Re: Anyone experienced discrimination at work due to endo?"
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