Re: Am feeling very sad...Thanks for your thoughts-Zoe
From: Mary (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Sun Mar 24 12:07:48 2002
You're welcome Zoe,
It's not soppy. It's good to cry about something wonderful. You're
allowed to get down, you're allowed to feel any emotion. We go through
so much with this disease. We can't keep it inside. I kept alot inside
at the worst times and did more harm to myself. We need others who
listen and we need reassurance. Most of all, we need to love ourselves
and remember we're wonderful. I pray for you and hope that life gives
you all the greatest joys that you deserve.
I was lucky because in my worst times, I had my mother-in-law who was
the most amazing woman. She always knew how to pick me up or snap me
out of a downer. She would always remind me of the positive in my life
and help me to regain faith and respect in myself, and love of course. I
miss her so much. But, God works in mysterious ways. My daughter, who
I named after her(Thank god they got a chance to know each other, if
even for a little while)she looks like her and has the same loving,
strong,stubborn character. Sorry , I have a tendancy to ramble. I want
to do what I can to help other women feel a little better.
Take care,
Mary
Take care,
--
Mary
At Sun, 24 Mar 2002, Zoe wrote:
>
>Thanks Mary. I know it sounds soppy, but your message made me cry. I'm
>so happy for you.
>
>Whenever I get too down, I phone my best friend. She was told that she
>would never have kids and her second baby is due on Wednesday!!
>
>I know I'll get through this one way or another.
>
>Thanks again.
>
>Zoe
>
>At Sat, 23 Mar 2002, Mary wrote:
>>
>>Zoe, don't lose faith. Faith is very important, mostly faith in
>>yourself. The doctor is knowledgeble but he is not God. Anything is
>>possible. Just like there is no standard in how women are affected by
>>endo, there is no standard or stereotype in a women's fertility. Yes,
>>our chances of conceiving are less than women without endo and carrying
>>to term is not always possible, but how can he know for sure. Have
>>faith and, as I've written before, do not obsess about having a child.
>>I've been through it. I know. I tried for years to conceive. Natural
>>failed, Clomid failed, artificial insemination failed, IVF worked but I
>>miscarried. I was devastated, hated myself, hated my life, wondered why
>>my husband was still with me and what purpose my presence on this earth
>>served. I had to sink this low to come to terms with my 'fate'. One
>>blocked tube, one partially blocked,my chances were almost non-existant.
>>It took a while but I knew I could not dwell or obsess. Then one day,
>>something incredible happened. I thought I'd caught a nasty flu. I was
>>due for my yearly gyno check up. She sent me to the hospital for an
>>ultrasound for ovarian cysts. I went immediately, very concerned. I
>>started talking to the radiologist about nonsense. Then I heard the
>>words I never thought I would hear, "You do know you're pregnant, don't
>>you?" I could not believe it. I started crying like a baby immediately.
>>She said, "Oh did I say something you didn't want to hear"....Little did
>>she know. I couldn't believe it. She showed me the screen and showed
>>me my baby's heart. That little flicker will stay in my mind forever.I
>>was in a dream world. I cannot express how happy I was and yet I still
>>could not believe it after seeing the U/S. My gyno told me nothing
>>because she did not want to get my hopes up, since the possibility of an
>>ectopic pregnancy was very high. Every doctor and gyno and medical
>>professional I've come across since then calls her my miracle baby. She
>>just turned four and I still cannot believe I have her and I look at her
>>every day as if for the first time.
>>I hope my personal story gives you and all other women hope and yes,
>>miracles do happen. I know your pain only to well. It took 12 years
>>for me to have a baby, a baby I was not supposed to have.
>>Don't ever give up hope and don't ever give up on yourself.
>>Take care
>>Mary
>>
>>At Sat, 23 Mar 2002, Zoe wrote:
>>>
>>>I had my appointment with my consultant on Thursday and have now been
>>>told that even if I can concieve using IVF it is highly unlikely I will
>>>ever be able to carry a child to term because of my endo.
>>>
>>>I have to try the IVF but am so scared of what might happen.
>>>
>>>He's referred me to a womens hospital in Birmingham (UK), so I should
>>>receive an appointment with them in about 3 months.
>>>
>>>At least I have an idea of what's going to happen now. Apparantly I can
>>>have 2 shots of IVF on the NHS, but I don't know if I can handle any
>>>more miscarriages. I've already had 2.
>>>
>>>Anyway, I just needed a shoulder to cry on.
>>>
>>>Thanks.
>>>
>>>--
>>>Zoe
>>>
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