Re: Am feeling very sad...Thanks for your thoughts
From: Zoe (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Sun Mar 24 04:29:34 2002
Thanks Mary. I know it sounds soppy, but your message made me cry. I'm
so happy for you.
Whenever I get too down, I phone my best friend. She was told that she
would never have kids and her second baby is due on Wednesday!!
I know I'll get through this one way or another.
Thanks again.
Zoe
At Sat, 23 Mar 2002, Mary wrote:
>
>Zoe, don't lose faith. Faith is very important, mostly faith in
>yourself. The doctor is knowledgeble but he is not God. Anything is
>possible. Just like there is no standard in how women are affected by
>endo, there is no standard or stereotype in a women's fertility. Yes,
>our chances of conceiving are less than women without endo and carrying
>to term is not always possible, but how can he know for sure. Have
>faith and, as I've written before, do not obsess about having a child.
>I've been through it. I know. I tried for years to conceive. Natural
>failed, Clomid failed, artificial insemination failed, IVF worked but I
>miscarried. I was devastated, hated myself, hated my life, wondered why
>my husband was still with me and what purpose my presence on this earth
>served. I had to sink this low to come to terms with my 'fate'. One
>blocked tube, one partially blocked,my chances were almost non-existant.
>It took a while but I knew I could not dwell or obsess. Then one day,
>something incredible happened. I thought I'd caught a nasty flu. I was
>due for my yearly gyno check up. She sent me to the hospital for an
>ultrasound for ovarian cysts. I went immediately, very concerned. I
>started talking to the radiologist about nonsense. Then I heard the
>words I never thought I would hear, "You do know you're pregnant, don't
>you?" I could not believe it. I started crying like a baby immediately.
>She said, "Oh did I say something you didn't want to hear"....Little did
>she know. I couldn't believe it. She showed me the screen and showed
>me my baby's heart. That little flicker will stay in my mind forever.I
>was in a dream world. I cannot express how happy I was and yet I still
>could not believe it after seeing the U/S. My gyno told me nothing
>because she did not want to get my hopes up, since the possibility of an
>ectopic pregnancy was very high. Every doctor and gyno and medical
>professional I've come across since then calls her my miracle baby. She
>just turned four and I still cannot believe I have her and I look at her
>every day as if for the first time.
>I hope my personal story gives you and all other women hope and yes,
>miracles do happen. I know your pain only to well. It took 12 years
>for me to have a baby, a baby I was not supposed to have.
>Don't ever give up hope and don't ever give up on yourself.
>Take care
>Mary
>
>At Sat, 23 Mar 2002, Zoe wrote:
>>
>>I had my appointment with my consultant on Thursday and have now been
>>told that even if I can concieve using IVF it is highly unlikely I will
>>ever be able to carry a child to term because of my endo.
>>
>>I have to try the IVF but am so scared of what might happen.
>>
>>He's referred me to a womens hospital in Birmingham (UK), so I should
>>receive an appointment with them in about 3 months.
>>
>>At least I have an idea of what's going to happen now. Apparantly I can
>>have 2 shots of IVF on the NHS, but I don't know if I can handle any
>>more miscarriages. I've already had 2.
>>
>>Anyway, I just needed a shoulder to cry on.
>>
>>Thanks.
>>
>>--
>>Zoe
>>
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