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Re: Am feeling very sad. Knew this was the place to come.-Oops I clicked too fast beforeFrom: Mary (anonymous@obgyn.net)Sat Mar 23 18:38:27 2002
Zoe, don't lose faith. Faith is very important, mostly faith in yourself. The doctor is knowledgeble but he is not God. Anything is possible. Just like there is no standard in how women are affected by endo, there is no standard or stereotype in a women's fertility. Yes, our chances of conceiving are less than women without endo and carrying to term is not always possible, but how can he know for sure. Have faith and, as I've written before, do not obsess about having a child. I've been through it. I know. I tried for years to conceive. Natural failed, Clomid failed, artificial insemination failed, IVF worked but I miscarried. I was devastated, hated myself, hated my life, wondered why my husband was still with me and what purpose my presence on this earth served. I had to sink this low to come to terms with my 'fate'. One blocked tube, one partially blocked,my chances were almost non-existant. It took a while but I knew I could not dwell or obsess. Then one day, something incredible happened. I thought I'd caught a nasty flu. I was due for my yearly gyno check up. She sent me to the hospital for an ultrasound for ovarian cysts. I went immediately, very concerned. I started talking to the radiologist about nonsense. Then I heard the words I never thought I would hear, "You do know you're pregnant, don't you?" I could not believe it. I started crying like a baby immediately. She said, "Oh did I say something you didn't want to hear"....Little did she know. I couldn't believe it. She showed me the screen and showed me my baby's heart. That little flicker will stay in my mind forever.I was in a dream world. I cannot express how happy I was and yet I still could not believe it after seeing the U/S. My gyno told me nothing because she did not want to get my hopes up, since the possibility of an ectopic pregnancy was very high. Every doctor and gyno and medical professional I've come across since then calls her my miracle baby. She just turned four and I still cannot believe I have her and I look at her every day as if for the first time. I hope my personal story gives you and all other women hope and yes, miracles do happen. I know your pain only to well. It took 12 years for me to have a baby, a baby I was not supposed to have. Don't ever give up hope and don't ever give up on yourself. Take care Mary
At Sat, 23 Mar 2002, Zoe wrote:
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