Re: 'I know how she feels, how soft her kiss is; I know how she feels....inside' (((( Wendy & Andrew))))
From: B.Browne (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Sun Aug 12 08:40:51 2001
Dear Wendi,
I am so glad you and Andrew are trying to work things out, he really is
appearing to be trying so hard and that is the first step..is our men
being interested enough to learn and open their male minds and try and
understand their females emotions and why we feel the way we do..with so
much pain and suffering, infertility and meds which play havoc with our
entire body ..yet a common bond between us all...pain, suffering and
being told to put up with it..you need to toughen up..if only they knew
how tough we really are..we would be the best army if there ever needed
to be one..Endo Sisters united would be SO Powerful if we all didn't
have this dreaded disease...wow what an Amazing and Super strong and
courageous BUT ALSO Compassionate army we would be...
Wendi good luck at the pain doc, I hope he suits you and your needs,
don't be affraid to change if it doesn't work out with this doctor. We
all have to remember we are all diffferent and some people clash its
nature, do not give up...find another pain doctor..they can be a life
saviour and they can you you back your life..if they are good and suit
you. If I can help Wendi let me know.
I am sure you will be fine but any questions I will try and help you.
Big Hugz and Love,
Belle
At Sat, 11 Aug 2001, Husband of wrote:
>
>To Belle and all who responded to my husband's message,
>Sorry I haven't written sooner but my husband and I are really
>trying to work out our differences. I thought that was so wonderful of
>him
>to go one his own and found our forum. I wanted to thank you all for
>your
>kind responses and encouraging words. I'm going to a pain
>specialist on Tuesday which I'm extremely excited about. Does anyone
>have any experience in this area?? I've seen so many specialists, but
>never have I seen one that specializes in pain management. I hope
>that this doctor will be understanding and helpful. Right now I'm
>willing
>to do anything to ease this pain, so I feel somewhat confident that I
>will show up with a positive attitude. I miss you all so much. I am
>here always if any of you need to vent, or need a shoulder to cry on.
>Lord knows I've cried enough this week to last me the whole year.
>I'm sending you all warm, healing vibes your way.
>Pain free wishes to you,
>Sincerely,
>Wendi Farbstein
>Wfarbs@cs.com
>P.S. Has anyone heard from Marcia???
>
>At Sat, 11 Aug 2001, B.Browne wrote:
>>
>>Dear Andrew and Wendi,
>>
>>What an amazing husband you are Andrew, Wendi I think you have a real
>>special guy and I am glad that he is as amazing, because thats what you
>>deserve.
>>May your pain becomes managable and your life be returned to you as soon
>>as possible. You are alwayz in my thoughts and prayers and I look
>>forward to catching up with you one day soon. I am sorry I have been
>>out of touch but I am sure oyou understand with my oral surgery only 2
>>weeks ago.
>>I hope to hear from you again soon.
>>Hugz and Special prayers & thoughts ..for pecial people
>>May Blessings follow you today and alwayz,
>>
>>Belle
>>
>>--
>>*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
>>Belle Browne R.N
>>http://www.endometriosis.org
>>Producer of Endometriosis The Inside Story
>>http://www.endometriosis.org/html/video.html
>>President N.S.W Endometriosis Association,Australia
>>email support@endometriosis.org
>>*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
>>
>>At Tue, 7 Aug 2001, Husband wrote:
>>>
>>>To My Amazing Wife with Endo (WFarbs@cs.com),
>>>
>>>"I will not let this disease destroy you anymore!"
>>>
>>>All I could do the last couple of months to get to inside your head and
>>>find out what is making you so angry all the time, short fused, and
>>>generally what made you change from the sweet loving temperate tolerant
>>>woman I married, to what you have become; was to scan the obgyn.net
>>>message boards and research and read all of your postings. You probably
>>>figured as much. I seemingly ended up learning A LOT about you! I
>>>learned A LOT! AS well as what you've been thinking the past few months.
>>>It really opened my eyes. It brought tears to my eyes the way you sent
>>>out an e-mail asking for prayers to help your mother through her heart
>>>attack. You were very passionate, very desperate and scared even in
>>>your written word..."...please pray for my Mom as she is MY BEST FRIEND
>>>in the whole wide world and I don't know what I'd do without her"....sc"
>>>I never knew that. Your mom is lucky to have you!
>>>Your cute little uplifting notes you send to all of the girls with
>>>endo/adymi, even one's you've never met or even talked to is a neat side
>>>of you I've never seen. You give them a lot of support, and kind words,
>>>and lots of warm hugs and kisses. You're sending out big warm hugs and
>>>kisses to women thousands of miles away that don't hug you back at that
>>>instant. You are really cool. You keep up with their upcoming medical
>>>procedures, laparoscopies, surgeries, test results and even responses to
>>>medication. You are wishing them well, wishing them "pain-free" days,
>>>yet you can barely muster up the strength to get out of the chair late
>>>at night when you're finished with the computer. Your lower back is
>>>absolutely on fire....you just want to sleep deep and pain free now, but
>>>your two year old needs to be carried up the tallest stairway in the
>>>world tonight....but you make it through, somehow.
>>>
>>>You're a pillar of hope to a lot of sick women, and a great welcomer to
>>>the new, scared girls who are going to go follow in your foot-steps
>>>soon, and you just wish you had AN EXACT ANSWER FOR THEM. I know you
>>>search everything you can get your hands on and talk to as many women
>>>available who have any knowledge of this absolutely useless disease. You
>>>hope and pray for any piece of information that might have gotten
>>>overlooked somehow, that you could use to ease your misery even just a
>>>"LITTLE BIT". Somedays feeling helpless, somedays feeling hopeless and
>>>some days just wanting to die, you dream of your healthy active youth.
>>>What you'd give to go back to a pain-free world. For some reason, the
>>>sunset isn't as beautifully real as it used to be when you feel like
>>>somebody is constantly twist-squeezing your middle back with a handful
>>>of rib and spine from the inside-out. Or your shoulder. Or your
>>>thighs. Or God forbid tonight, all three? And the funny thing is is
>>>that you know exactly what the internal twist-squeeze pain feels like,
>>>and it's a word I just made up just now. You wish it was a friggin'
>>>question on "Who Wants to Be A Millionaire", because you wouldn't need
>>>to phone a friend, or ask the audience, or get any help. If you had a
>>>good pencil and an easel you could draw a picture of how your pain feels
>>>on the inside of your body to exact detail. Now if only your Gyno Dr.
>>>would stop looking at your drawing upside-down. That bastard. Has this
>>>man ever even SEEN the inside of a vagina? If you leave his office one
>>>more time without any answers or relief, you might have him killed if
>>>you could afford the hit-man. What the hell, pay the hit-man to at
>>>least fire a few shots over the heads of the girls that work the front
>>>desk...at least you'd get some empathy or respect for once.
>>>
>>>The days keep going by, the pain doesn't really ever leave, as you drive
>>>to your next futile appointment your mind spins in circles...Was it
>>>something that you did to deserve this? A sports injury? Is it all in
>>>your head? Pain-Pills and anti-depressants? Is that all they've got for
>>>this? Why isn't there a sure cure? This absolutely unmanagable pain
>>>won't leave you alone for five minutes, yet your husband is pissed at
>>>you because he can't get off tonight....what a jerk! You'd like him to
>>>experience half of this pain for 10 minutes and he'll shut his cake-hole
>>>FOREVER!! (I get it.)
>>>
>>>It's amazing that you are so independent and strong, that somehow,
>>>someway you will still manage to make it through the work-week and make
>>>money. Pay the mortgage. Pick up after the kids. Clean the house.
>>>Look after the kids. Do the laundry. Pick up after the kids again. Do
>>>the dishes. Run the errands. Pick up after the kids yet again. You
>>>still have half of your stuff to do, half of it you did today and you
>>>hope tomorrow you can finish without this unrelenting pressing
>>>pain...yes then you will catch up on your tasks and phone calls....for
>>>tomorrow with the Grace of God the pain will be gone. You lump onto the
>>>bed at the end of the day completely exhausted, feeling literally like
>>>somebody stabbed you with a knife all over your body...oh shit, now your
>>>six year old is sick, crying and throwing up red kool-aid out in the
>>>hallway!....where's that husband of yours? What a jerk.....!
>>>
>>>Honey, I may not communicate it to you enough, but I do understand how
>>>you feel after I snooped through the bulletin boards. You talked a lot
>>>of smack about me! But I guess I have a better understanding why. And
>>>my offer still stands. (Becasue I trash-talked you on the MENDO board
>>>as well...jk!) You Really DON'T HAVE TO DO SO MUCH. YOU REALLY CAN CUT
>>>MOST OF YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES and we'll be okay somehow! Why don't you
>>>consider it? We should talk about it. I love you..... Honey, come
>>>home, please. I really miss you!! Come home as fast as you can and give
>>>me a big warm hugs and kisses!
>>>
>>>To all you special women out there who suffer in part or in full of
>>>endo/adyn ... God bless you and may you feel relief soon! Stay strong,
>>>stay focused, don't take anything for granted! Wendi and I will pray for
>>>you all!
>>>
>>>Wendi,
>>>
>>>I love you forever, through pain, sickness and in future health. I love
>>>you.
>>>Your Loving Husband,
>>>AndrewFarbs
>>
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