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Re: 'I know how she feels, how soft her kiss is; I know how she feels....inside'
For more information on symptoms and treatment of endometriosis visit www.EndometriosisZONE.org.
From: Kristy (anonymous@obgyn.net)
Tue Aug 7 18:38:57 2001
Dear Husband of Wendi Farbs...She is a lucky woman...You are a lucky
man...Now that your not a jerk anymore...LOL..Keep up the good
work...Kristy B.
At Tue, 7 Aug 2001, Husband wrote:
>
>To My Amazing Wife with Endo (WFarbs@cs.com),
>
>"I will not let this disease destroy you anymore!"
>
>All I could do the last couple of months to get to inside your head and
>find out what is making you so angry all the time, short fused, and
>generally what made you change from the sweet loving temperate tolerant
>woman I married, to what you have become; was to scan the obgyn.net
>message boards and research and read all of your postings. You probably
>figured as much. I seemingly ended up learning A LOT about you! I
>learned A LOT! AS well as what you've been thinking the past few months.
>It really opened my eyes. It brought tears to my eyes the way you sent
>out an e-mail asking for prayers to help your mother through her heart
>attack. You were very passionate, very desperate and scared even in
>your written word..."...please pray for my Mom as she is MY BEST FRIEND
>in the whole wide world and I don't know what I'd do without her"....sc"
>I never knew that. Your mom is lucky to have you!
>Your cute little uplifting notes you send to all of the girls with
>endo/adymi, even one's you've never met or even talked to is a neat side
>of you I've never seen. You give them a lot of support, and kind words,
>and lots of warm hugs and kisses. You're sending out big warm hugs and
>kisses to women thousands of miles away that don't hug you back at that
>instant. You are really cool. You keep up with their upcoming medical
>procedures, laparoscopies, surgeries, test results and even responses to
>medication. You are wishing them well, wishing them "pain-free" days,
>yet you can barely muster up the strength to get out of the chair late
>at night when you're finished with the computer. Your lower back is
>absolutely on fire....you just want to sleep deep and pain free now, but
>your two year old needs to be carried up the tallest stairway in the
>world tonight....but you make it through, somehow.
>
>You're a pillar of hope to a lot of sick women, and a great welcomer to
>the new, scared girls who are going to go follow in your foot-steps
>soon, and you just wish you had AN EXACT ANSWER FOR THEM. I know you
>search everything you can get your hands on and talk to as many women
>available who have any knowledge of this absolutely useless disease. You
>hope and pray for any piece of information that might have gotten
>overlooked somehow, that you could use to ease your misery even just a
>"LITTLE BIT". Somedays feeling helpless, somedays feeling hopeless and
>some days just wanting to die, you dream of your healthy active youth.
>What you'd give to go back to a pain-free world. For some reason, the
>sunset isn't as beautifully real as it used to be when you feel like
>somebody is constantly twist-squeezing your middle back with a handful
>of rib and spine from the inside-out. Or your shoulder. Or your
>thighs. Or God forbid tonight, all three? And the funny thing is is
>that you know exactly what the internal twist-squeeze pain feels like,
>and it's a word I just made up just now. You wish it was a friggin'
>question on "Who Wants to Be A Millionaire", because you wouldn't need
>to phone a friend, or ask the audience, or get any help. If you had a
>good pencil and an easel you could draw a picture of how your pain feels
>on the inside of your body to exact detail. Now if only your Gyno Dr.
>would stop looking at your drawing upside-down. That bastard. Has this
>man ever even SEEN the inside of a vagina? If you leave his office one
>more time without any answers or relief, you might have him killed if
>you could afford the hit-man. What the hell, pay the hit-man to at
>least fire a few shots over the heads of the girls that work the front
>desk...at least you'd get some empathy or respect for once.
>
>The days keep going by, the pain doesn't really ever leave, as you drive
>to your next futile appointment your mind spins in circles...Was it
>something that you did to deserve this? A sports injury? Is it all in
>your head? Pain-Pills and anti-depressants? Is that all they've got for
>this? Why isn't there a sure cure? This absolutely unmanagable pain
>won't leave you alone for five minutes, yet your husband is pissed at
>you because he can't get off tonight....what a jerk! You'd like him to
>experience half of this pain for 10 minutes and he'll shut his cake-hole
>FOREVER!! (I get it.)
>
>It's amazing that you are so independent and strong, that somehow,
>someway you will still manage to make it through the work-week and make
>money. Pay the mortgage. Pick up after the kids. Clean the house.
>Look after the kids. Do the laundry. Pick up after the kids again. Do
>the dishes. Run the errands. Pick up after the kids yet again. You
>still have half of your stuff to do, half of it you did today and you
>hope tomorrow you can finish without this unrelenting pressing
>pain...yes then you will catch up on your tasks and phone calls....for
>tomorrow with the Grace of God the pain will be gone. You lump onto the
>bed at the end of the day completely exhausted, feeling literally like
>somebody stabbed you with a knife all over your body...oh shit, now your
>six year old is sick, crying and throwing up red kool-aid out in the
>hallway!....where's that husband of yours? What a jerk.....!
>
>Honey, I may not communicate it to you enough, but I do understand how
>you feel after I snooped through the bulletin boards. You talked a lot
>of smack about me! But I guess I have a better understanding why. And
>my offer still stands. (Becasue I trash-talked you on the MENDO board
>as well...jk!) You Really DON'T HAVE TO DO SO MUCH. YOU REALLY CAN CUT
>MOST OF YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES and we'll be okay somehow! Why don't you
>consider it? We should talk about it. I love you..... Honey, come
>home, please. I really miss you!! Come home as fast as you can and give
>me a big warm hugs and kisses!
>
>To all you special women out there who suffer in part or in full of
>endo/adyn ... God bless you and may you feel relief soon! Stay strong,
>stay focused, don't take anything for granted! Wendi and I will pray for
>you all!
>
>Wendi,
>
>I love you forever, through pain, sickness and in future health. I love
>you.
>Your Loving Husband,
>AndrewFarbs
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