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Re: ((((Tanya)))) (((Natalie))) Ah heck, to (((EVERYONE)))From: NSMITCH (anonymous@obgyn.net)Tue Dec 12 02:26:17 2000
Dearest Tanya, As ever, I am impressed with your choice of words and the eloquence with which they are delivered. Thank you for what you had to say to Natalie regarding her situation and also for those of us who clearly also endure daily with pain, etc. You were right in what you said as far as I was concerned...I didn't know what to say about the very first lap, mine was SO long ago. And right now I am trying to decide if something went really wrong with the last one (the protrusion) or is something else wrong with this blasted body. We all try to be supportive and uplifting to one another and yet sometimes our own struggles get in the way..."Heal thyself", first or is it "First, do no harm"? That is a constant battle when we want to be there for others and yet our bodies dictate (or try to dictate - I try to win that battle as often as possible LOL) whether that is possible, much less probable. As per the infamous "sex chat"...I may be wrong but I believe those that attended got something out of it, even if it was simply to be heard. Endo presents challenges for many women sexually and it was an important subject to finally venture into. Dare I say that some of us may want to traverse that road once again in the near future (??) I apologize for not getting the material I had mentioned during our chat out to everyone. As you all know I have been under the weather; haven't we all? I will endeavor to do so ASAP. Please forgive me however: the articles I mentioned do not have the appropriate authors of each mentioned as some are a compilation of many years of reading, etc.. I had gathered this together for other women and men and over the times of sending them back and forth, revising etc. some of the original names have been lost in the shuffle (I also authored some of it and needed some privacy in that area by keeping my name from them.) As I said in the group, some of these are specifically catered to women with painful intimacy issues and/or survivors of abuse. (Note: for those who did not attend, pls email me if you are interested in what I am ambiguously speaking of here. Not sure I DARE post these articles to the whole forum.) Natalie, I do slightly remember my first lap and I cannot tell you much more than I didn't know what to expect and my doctor was late by one hour. I was 17 then. I had my last lap Nov. 3 of this year; I will be 40 in a few weeks. Things have changed some since then. If you want to know the mechanics of a laparoscopy, the endo sites or obgyn.net can give you that. If you'd like the personal info., well you have come to the right place. Every lap is different from patient to patient as endo presents itself differently in all of us. Tanya was correct, as per usual, about the laser and harmonic scalpel, etc. There unfortunately is no guarantee that endo will not come back whether they get it all or not...Oops. slipping into the non-uplifting mode here. Natalie, I want so desperately to tell you "Everything is gonna be okay." I believe wholeheartedly that everyone else here would like to say the same to you, yet we have found honesty to be one of our truest friends. We cannot tell you what we do not know. We can listen to whatever fears you voice here and we will try to appease them as best we can. We will also hold you in our hearts and thoughts during and after your lap...We wish you freedom from this disease and freedom from pain and the fear that consumes you even now...We wish you peace. As Ever, Sally Every moment we are given has the potential for grace realized.
>----- Original Message ----- Natalie, I am sorry that you did not have any response to your first email. I obviously missed your message and do not recall reading it. There are days when I am feeling so lousy that I just can't read all of the messages. I understand that you are reaching out and I am more than happy to help you in anyway that I can. I have had three laps and for two of those was sent home the same day. I actually flew, alone, the next day after my second lap which I highly DON'T recommend because I nearly passed out in the airport. I am assuming that your doc suspects endo. I hope that your doc is experienced in removing and identifying endo. Endo is very difficult to see, because it appears in many colours and can be found throughout the body. I would also ask if your doc is using a harmonic scalpel. Recent research tells us that that is the most likely way that all the endo will be removed when used by a skilled pair of hands. If he/she is using cautory there is a much higher chance that the endo will return because they can't actually remove it all with a cautory. That is what has happened to me. I am awaiting my fourth surgery but have postponed it, despite the pain, because an harmonic scalpel is not available in my province. Of course there are risks with any surgery and your doctor is obligated to discuss those with you. Please make sure that your doc is experienced in doing this procedure successfully which will hopefully make it (much) less likely to experience complications. Because of the message I did read from you I feel compelled to say a few words in response. This site is for support, but please remember that you are sending messages to other women with endo and have their own issues and problems to manage. It may have been that at that particular time there was no one available to provide you with the encouragement that you required. I often have days where I am unable to think of anything encouraging because of how lousy I am feeling. We are not professional counsellors but are here to help each other through living with endo as best we can. Just because you are angry and scared in no reason to lash out to other women who are in the SAME boat as you. As for the women wanting to discuss endo and the implications it has on their sex lives I can only say that they obviously found a need to discuss that issue. Endo has a devastating effects for couples when one has endo. Many women can not have sex without pain - some don't have sex because of how awful the pain is - others have found ways that to make it work for them - they were just sharing that information. There are wonderful websites that explain the procedure and even show pictures of what endo looks like inside the body. I would suggest that you start at the Endometriosis Association (http://www.endometriosisassoc.org and then buy the book "The Endometriosis Sourcebook" written by Mary Lou Ballweg. Good luck with your surgery and welcome to the forum. Tanya
>----- Original Message -----
> thanks to all who didn't write me back--I wrote on Thursday for support.
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